I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
