THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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