You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
