You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Randomize
