R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
