420 ftw
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize