Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
