I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Randomize
