that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Randomize
