then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
then he tried to convert me to islam
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I think weed is turning my hair brown
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
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