If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Randomize
