Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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