ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
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