your room smells of hookers.
And success
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
