I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
