so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Randomize
