SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize