I wannas sexs uuuuu
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
We left the knife in your bed.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
We were destined to go to rehab together
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I deserve this hangover.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
