we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize