I wish I could teleport
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
