i was born a porn star she said
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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