my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
