I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
