I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
