I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
At least life still wants to fuck me.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
