ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Randomize
