quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Even my vagina gasped.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
