is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
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