ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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