why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Randomize
