I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Randomize
