He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Randomize
