I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Its about making memories worth repressing
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
