oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
