I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
