it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Let's paint friendship bongs
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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