I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Randomize
