I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
A bitchslap is in order.
Randomize
