Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
