I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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