thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
