mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
