Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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