I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Randomize
