Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
