alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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