im about as happy as oj after his trial
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
