i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
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