Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
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