covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
