you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Randomize
