i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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