i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
