I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I'm at about main and main street
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
