Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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