If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
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