dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Randomize
