I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Randomize
