Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
We got so high we made milksteak
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
