upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
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