ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
farters have to be the big spoon...
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
