I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
It's just like the Real World with babies
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
