i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
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