dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Randomize
