in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize