She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
