I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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