508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
